I still remember once decades ago when my first husband had invited an old friend to stay with us. This friend was a nice enough fellow but he was shamelessly swooping in on female friends in a rather manipulative manner so I called him out.
Which upset him.
Greatly.
Furiously, he began listing my flaws in order to intimidate me. Problem was, I knew my flaws pretty damn well.
I can be loud, overly friendly, and talkative. Sometimes I interrupt when I'm buzzing with ideas. If I'm hyped up, I want to PLAY, whether it be music or word games or improv or anything silly and fun (the child in me enjoys interaction 😊)
Let's see... I can be too trusting because I believe the best in others. I can overlook warning signs until they hit me like a painful slap in the face, at which point I can walk awaywithout glancing back. I can sometimes be thoughtless and self-involved, which requires me to put focus on being thoughtful and interactive. I'm prone to pause mystery shows and shout out what I have deduced. *heh*
If I'm out with folks and there's good music playing, I'm likely to wander off and listen. I'll chat up anybody simply because I genuinely like people and find them to be interesting. I never seem to fit in with those who demand exclusion of others.
Some of these qualities might not seem like flaws, but it all just depends on focus. What it comes down to is that I recognize which traits might seem irritating to others, and so they can't be used to reduce me, even if it's horribly embarrassing to discover others aren't quite as forgiving as I strive to be. I may weep and ache but within time my heart recovers and I emerge stronger and more aware.
Self-Awareness requires us to Know Our Selves. Completely. It requires us to be open to discovering all aspects of our being, whether those aspects thrill us or make us want to crawl under a blanket and hide.
Self-Acceptance requires us to Accept that we are a mixture of light and shadow, of magnificent accomplishments and heart-wrenching mistakes.
The two go hand-in-hand like sisters swearing a lifelong oath.
If you find yourself cringing over a flaw, take a moment to put your hand on your heart and whisper, "I will love Myself like a parent should love a child. I love you!"
And be proud! Because we can't modify characteristics that are unseen. As a guitarist, hearing when I flub a note is mandatory if I want to learn how to make my guitar sing.
We are in the midst of writing an incredible life story. Root for the hero of this story and recognize that your happy ending requires only one thing--doing the best you can in every moment you can.
Here's to learning to love our Selves, one flaw at a time.
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